e-mails that make me happy

So Matt, a nice guy in charge of a group I'm working with, politely e-mailed
the group and asked if we could change our meeting from 5:30 p.m. to 7 p.m. After
sitting in a desk since 9 a.m. (work/school/meetings) until present (10:30 p.m.),
I'd had enough. This is a copy of the reply I actually e-mailed back.
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matt,
i'm sorry, but i can't make it to this meeting or any
meeting following. my pet eraser desintegrated today
and i have decided to wear hot pink and boycott all
forms of public gathering as a form of mourning. for
at least  12 years. or maybe for a month. or maybe
until i get hungry and need substance outside of the
stale cherios within these four walls. hmmm. taco
bell. i might leave my exile if i am reassured there
will be a baquet of exotic food present. or maybe a
bowl of popcorn. or perhaps if the group holds hands,
chants kumbaya and visualizes quesadillas. let me
know.
most sincere aplogies,
Becky Dewey
(p.s. 7 will be fine.)