t minus three hours to take off...

2 a.m.
hey guess what? i'm heading back to nebraska soon.
-and when you may ask?
oh about 3 hours.
-you might roll your eyes and question: so how much sleep you lookin forward to this time, miss becky?
and then of course i'd have to say, "it depends...on if you include sleep time on the plane." sleep in my home, about 3 hours, or minus an hour perhaps...depending on how prepared for college again i want to be. but more and more i'm thinking of dropping my head into a pillow right now...or maybe three minutes from now, once i've stumbled upstairs. the lights are mostly off in this house.
-are you looking forward to going back to school?
for the people yes and at the same time, no. this has been the best holiday break i can remember. today i got quite spoiled and mom took kristin and i out to see a movie, and we really just hung out all day while getting things done, and watching a couple videos we had promised to watch together (yay Kronk's New Groove!).

it was quite fun and laid back. but there was a moment while in the movie theater with mom and kris that i got a horrible ache in my stomache. i looked at them both and knew i would not see them again for a very long time. now i love my family, but i'm pretty good at mostly not being homesick...until now. i have three hours before i leave and i ache all over again. maybe it's because us kids are growing up and changing so much. the next time we'll all be together will be my sister's wedding in july. or maybe i ache because the break's been so perfect with family that i don't want to go back alone to hectic life as i know it. yet here i am, determined to take up the challenge and go back to my responsiblities and pursuits in life. i will go back, i will have fun, and i shall miss them terribly.